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Event: The Azar Newsletter Part 2: You Are Invited To The 2nd Annual — Traditional Deep South Christmas Tailgate BBQ This Saturday (12-18-09)

December 18, 2009


It looks to be a good, though cold day tomorrow. We have over a half ton of chicken and pork to cook, rice, beans, lasagna, bread and who knows what else! It will be cold and we may have some heaters to keep you warm. But the rain will be gone. If you have any gas type heaters, feel free to bring them to keep us all warm.

We have more donors and they are listed below in the invitation. Many thanks to all those contributing material, time and money. I hope I have listed everyone, but let me know if there is anyone else to be listed. Please thank all those contributing, for without them, this would never happen.

If you would like to help, feel free to bring food for harvest home or put something in the donation jar for them. Also needed are clothes, old cell phones, working computers and peripherals, any small appliances that work and are in good shape, building supplies (do not bring but let me know so they can go to the correct place), telephones, anything that any one in need can use. We all have stuff in closets that we want to dispose of, yet is too good to throw away, so take a look.

I am also listing those that we will remember that have gone on before us. They left much for us thankful for, and added much to this world and our lives. No, we are not praying for them, they are praying for us as they are now happy and we are still stuck here in hell. We will pray for us instead and anyone in need. Please send me the name of anyone I should add to the list

All of us look forward to seeing you, serving you, and sharing love, good will and holiday cheer, plus reminisce about the year. Though it is NOT a political event, I did invite all my competitors for mayor to attend and told them they are welcome to eat, socialize and tell you why they should be mayor and not me. Maybe that is a bit unwise on my part, but it is Christmas and it is a time to share, so everyone is welcome at this party, no matter who.

~Joe Azar

We will be setting up around 7am. Food should start coming off the grill by 11:30am or noon. Send this invitation to all your friends. We are honored by your presence and are glad to offer this gift to you.

In Honor of

Evelyn Mary Alexander Azar
Ruth Wise
Edward Naccash
Anna Benson
Harold Morgan
Leslie Hanna
Walton Harper
Janie Zusman Eneman
Celia Port
Chris Emerson
Ridgely Able
James Maloney
Oscar Yeske
Theresse Abi Habib
Diana Brazell
Robert Miller
Eloise Johnson
Anna Benson
Jeeva Anaden

And all those that go unsung who have made this world a better place for us

Our Prayers for

Wesley Smith
Those in sickness and pain
And all of us

The event is Saturday, December 19, 2009, at Upstairs Audio & Video, 746 Harden St. Cooking will start about 9a, with food served about 3 hours later, when done, and served until there is no more. We are grilling up probably 500-700 pounds of meat, so we should have enough for everyone. There will be sides too, and you are welcome to bring any chips, sides, drinks, desserts that you want, and even some meat to grill if you like. Though it is all our gift and nothing asked for us, we do hope you will bring some clothes, toys, canned food, or even some loose change to donate to those much less fortunate than us. These times are so very tough and many are hurting. Just a 50 cent can of food will be a wonderful gift.
And many thanks to those helping to make this happen. Hopefully we can do it every Christmas season.

You are invited to:
Rmember way back when you wuz a kid up in the mountains and everone fired up the beat up, rusty old Ford 4WDs and pulled the cuker out to that speshul place over the ridge and down that rutted road whar the trees wuz so thick that the only way to see them stars was to look up, straight up? They cranked up the grills and the music, pored some beverages, and soon enuf, thar was sum gud eatin, just a couple days fore the fat man came down the chimny. Then, after the gud food, while everone was a laughin and a dancin and a drinkin, the older sisters sneaked off into the woods with the cuzzins and harvested some of that agrycultral produce they had a been growin all seasun, stuff so tough they had to whack it down with machetes. Probly why they called it “whacky tobacky”. It musta been way back in the real thick woods as the sis’s always came back with hair all mussed real bad and leaves and sticks stuck back thur sweaters. Anyhow, always good Christmas with the cousins.

Or down on the coast, whur everone would load up all the old high ridin Chevys with tires so big you wondered if you wuld ever grow tall enuf to see over em? They wuld all try to make it down deep into the swamps on those cut thrus so mucky that it always took two more jus to get one unstuck. They wuld dig a pit, put some good smellin wood in, get a good fire agoin, then put the meat on after it simmered down and deep slow cuked for hours. They’d be a dancin to those loud boomboxes they sum how larned to hook up all together to make one stinkin loud sound, and stretch em all around the site. In the meantime, someone wuld go back to whur that big thang with the funny coils and fire under it was a boilin and get some of that cold medicin out a it for everone to make sure that no one got sick for Christmas. It was much too strong for us kids, they said, and they gave us them orange flavurd St. Joseph’s asperns insted. I guess so as it seemed to make all the grown ups really whacky, so it probly really wulda hurt us kids bad. Anyhow, I liked orange and that cold medicine smeled bad, kinda like whut mama rubbed on you when you got cut. But it always wuz a good time raght fore Christmas.

How about those times in the midlands that weekend fore Christmas? Everyone wuld get out the lectric carts and horses and head out to the deep forest thick with sand and pinestraw. They always tuk quiet vehcles as they said that if they had loud vehcles the cops and sheriff wuld hear them, folluw on out, and join the party, bumming food, drink and presents as the local sherifs and police cheefs didn pay thur officurs enugh and so they was always a beggin fur stuff. Of course they made us promus to be real quiet bout all this cause if the cops did find out, not only wuld they eat all our food, but our cookies too, and then try to take sum of our toys for their kidz. No way any of us wur goin to say anythang. No way!

But they had that pit behin that concrete block shack, they one that had all thuz dangerous chemicals in it that wuld hurt us, they said, so we could never go in. But it was a good thang because they made drugs in thur that made them a lot of money for the fambly and helped people everwher feel better. Made me proud of the fambly, helping people everwher like that! I wish I had found out what brand it and kind it wuz as it seemed to work real well cuz everyone looked real satisfied.

Oh well, but the party wuz always fun, yet us kids wuz always puzled by the women who sumhow changed into those small Santa and elf suits with 4 inch high heels and how they culd dance round in those things in the sand and why they didn’t freeze when those outfits barly covered haf thur body. And for some reason, they wuld stumble and fall sumtimes. Reminds me, I remember Aunt Mae fallin one time and I thought, I’m goin a buy her some underwear for Christmas next year cuz hers must have gotten all eat up in the wash as it only had a couple strings holdin on a small piece left. But I forgot. Christmas BBQ wuz always a good time.

But the BBQ wuz always gud, a southern Christmas tradishun that sumhow seems to have gone away due to too many d@#! Yankees movin in down here. So we is bringing it back, that gud old southern Christmas tradishun: Our secund annual Traditional Deep South Christmas Tailgate BBQ. It starts bout 7am with the boys pullin in the cookers deep, deep into the wilds of 5 Points and firin em up. They will be cukin up all kinda good stuff which shuld be ready bout noon, and all gone by 4p, though we did cuk up past 5 las yer. Though we cannot offer the real tradition of the mountains, swamps, or woods, nor any of that gud stuff the frinds and families created for fun and profit, we can offer sum good eatin, all as our gift to you. Ain’t no charge, no obligation, no nothin, other than you bringin yo self, frinds and a load of luv and goodwill. The place is easy to find, right in the parkin lot of Upstairs Audio & Video, in the middle of the 5 Points swamp, corner of Greene & Harden, across fum the 5 Points geyser. If you get lost, jest call 513-3357 or 256-EARS.

Many thanks to all the extended fambly contribtin to this:

Corey Jenkins Sr. and Jr., Dee Jenkins, Roosevelt Greene, Whitney McLeod of Final Touch Painting Contractors, and all their frinds and fambly that made USC tailgating so much fun this year

Connie & Chris Gause of Hawgs & Dippin’ Dogs

Todd Lewis and Palmetto Computer Labs

Patrice Kellar and Extreme Hair design

Mimi Diep and US Foods

Ryan Lane, attorney

Bill Carter and Silicon Solutions

Alden Wheeler

Darrell Goodwin and Story’s Barber Shop

Strictly Running and “Seldom” Blake and all the staff

Upstairs Audio & Video, Dave, Kelley & Mason Michelson, and Wilson Keel

Thoze unsung heros thet show up the day of the event and voluntur thur time, muney and muteriul

And me, Joseph Azar

On a more serious note, this is our gift to you, your friends, and our city. Everyone is welcome with NO obligation. (No, it is not a political event, and I even invited my opponents and other politicians.) Some have asked if there was any way they could help, so instead of bringing anything to eat or drink for us, we suggested they bring a can of food, toys, clothing, or donate some spare change for those less fortunate than us, all of which will be donated to appropriate charities in this very serious economic time. But a donation is not required. All we ask is that you come with friends and share friendship, love and good will with us and our friends for this season and all of life. If it is a well attended and wanted event, we hope to do it again every Christmas season as our gift to you and our city. Your attendance is simply your gift to us, which is all we need. (Of course, if it rains and storms, we must unfortunately delay until Sunday as it is outdoors.)
This year a few of the charities will be on hand to collect donations and let you know what they do. Harvest Hope will be here and will receive the money and food donations. Pets, Inc will be here and is asking for any old tennis balls, detergent, and copy paper. The Eau Claire Cooperative Health Clinic will be here to let you know more about what they do and how they can help you. We will take old working cell phones (not activated) as they can be used by those in shelters (e.g. Sister Care) that need a 911 access. Working telephones, vacuum cleaners, fans, computers (sorry, no CRT monitors) and peripherals, and all those useful items that clog up your closet but could be of benefit to a needy family please bring and we will find a home for them. Any building supplies are also welcome as Habitat for Humanity and Home Works can use them, but do not bring any. Just let me know by email what, where and who so I can forward to those organizations. I know a few more charitable and helping groups will be here so you can talk with them to learn what they need, as well as learn how they help.
This is, and will be every year, a memorial to all our loved ones that passed away, including my mother, who gave me the character to help, care, create and give to others. We will say a prayer not for those that have passed away, as they are in a better place, but for us, who they are praying for as we are still stuck here in hell! If you have someone I should put on the memorial list, please send their name to me right away. These are the people that created us, made us the good people we are, and we will thank them and remember the goodness of them.
Finally, let me share something that happened at our first event in 2008 that still brings goose bumps. I was worried that the donation jar would disappear as it did at the Greek Festival, so I kept a close eye on it. One homeless man put change in it and I immediately said “No, you don’t need to. This is our gift to you.” But he insisted as he wanted to help. Another soon came and put in FOLDING money, and I immediately said the same thing as I was stunned that any homeless person would give up hard to come by cash. But he said the same thing, so I again relented. A third came up and put money in and I started to say the same thing, stuttered, and then said “Thank you.” I asked them to please keep an eye on the jar and all of them did. Nothing ever happened to it, other than we collected about $165 and gave it to Harvest Hope. That was so unimaginable to me, and as far as into the late summer those same homeless guys asked if we were doing it again this year, to which I said yes. Amazing!
This event is something I have always wanted to do and the “extended family” agreed, without which this never could happen. If you cannot attend, we wish you love and goodwill for now and the future, and hope to see you again very soon!

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